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Moggie

Captain O'Malley And The Bonnies

by Moggie

Creative Commons Saturday September 3, 2016

123 views | 6 comments

Filed in Comedy

Here ye be, Moggie The Mad. Me Bonnie's Beauties will defend your haven from the Spaniard raids ye been suffering under.

Are y'daft? I asked for MEN to defend me haven...

AH! No need to get riled, ladies. Let me handle this.

...nae BEER WENCHES!

Now then, I take yer dissatisfaction t'wards my bonnies be because, well, they be bonnies, aye?

Aye! Wimmen have nae place in piracy unless they tend me bar...

Would it sway yer stance when I tell ye these lovelies be a bargain in pay when compared t'yer buccaneers?

Huh! I thought I be talking to the Pirate Queen, Cap'n Anne O'Malley, not some simpering landlubber goldcounter...

THAT YE BE!!!

YEEK!

Now, unless ye wish to lose the other eye -- and parts best left unmentioned -- ye speak with a civil tongue in that wrinkled head.

Aye. Pardon m'manners..

'ere, mum.

Glad ye get the point. Contract, please.

I just said. Tis oor contract.

What's this?

Y'know....has words? Made 'o' letters?

The...marks..on the page?

T'was nae much in school as a lad.

Would nae have guessed...

All right, all right, just tell me yer terms.

Done! *p'tuh!!*

Each bonnie gets 75 pieces 'o' gold, 30 logs 'o' lumber and surely most important, 15 barrels 'o' yer finest rum.

Ach, taste it through me palm..

Deal! Shake!

*squelch*

Now, ye better stick to yarr terms, 'pecially the rum. Nae less, and certainly nae more!

@%$#!

@%$#!

@%$#!

A WEEK LATER

Well! Cap'n O'Malley was as good as 'er word! The Spaniards disappeared faster than a guv'ner's promises after an election.

15 Barrels indeed! We be pirates, not nurse-maidens!

I'll admit, they did such a braw job, I gave'm a few extra barrels t'slosh.

AH! OH NO! ME TAVERN!

*HIC* Ye take that back, ye..ye...PIRATE!

♫ *giggle* This bonnie sailed over the ocean, this bonnie loves rum, tee-hee! This bonnie sailed over the ocean, please pour rum for me, wheeee! ♫

*BLEHHHHHH*..oh, damn. Hope nae one wanted moar rummmm..

ACH! That's why the Cap'n warned me about the rum tae give 'em! The Bonnies will behave worst then me men!

Here ye be, Moggie The Mad. Me Bonnie's Beauties will defend your haven from the Spaniard raids ye been suffering under. Are y'daft? I asked for MEN to defend me haven... AH! No need to get riled, ladies. Let me handle this. | ...nae BEER WENCHES! Now then, I take yer dissatisfaction t'wards my bonnies be because, well, they be bonnies, aye? | Aye!  Wimmen have nae place in piracy unless they tend me bar... Would it sway yer stance when I tell ye these lovelies be a bargain in pay when compared t'yer buccaneers? | Huh! I thought I be talking to the Pirate Queen, Cap'n Anne O'Malley, not some simpering landlubber goldcounter... THAT YE BE!!! | YEEK! Now, unless ye wish to lose the other eye -- and parts best left unmentioned -- ye speak with a civil tongue in that wrinkled head. | Aye. Pardon m'manners.. 'ere, mum. | Glad ye get the point. Contract, please. I just said. Tis oor contract. | What's this? Y'know....has words? Made 'o' letters? The...marks..on the page? | T'was nae much in school as a lad. Would nae have guessed... | All right, all right, just tell me yer terms. Done! *p'tuh!!* | Each bonnie gets 75 pieces 'o' gold, 30 logs 'o' lumber and surely most important, 15 barrels 'o' yer finest rum. Ach, taste it through me palm.. | Deal! Shake! | *squelch* Now, ye better stick to yarr terms, 'pecially the rum. Nae less, and certainly nae more! | @%$#! | @%$#! | @%$#! A WEEK LATER | Well! Cap'n O'Malley was as good as 'er word! The Spaniards disappeared faster than a guv'ner's promises after an election. 15 Barrels indeed! We be pirates, not nurse-maidens! | I'll admit, they did such a braw job, I gave'm a few extra barrels t'slosh. AH! OH NO! ME TAVERN! *HIC* Ye take that back, ye..ye...PIRATE! | ♫ *giggle*  This bonnie sailed over the ocean, this bonnie loves rum, tee-hee! This bonnie sailed over the ocean, please pour rum for me, wheeee! ♫ | *BLEHHHHHH*..oh, damn. Hope nae one wanted moar rummmm.. | ACH! That's why the Cap'n warned me about the rum tae give 'em! The Bonnies will behave worst then me men!
DC193Q

Two Doctor Who Fans 4

by DC193Q

Creative Commons Thursday August 18, 2016

1,551 views | 1 comments

Filed in Sci Fi & Comedy

What?

Guess what my dad told me?

Back when there were, like, 12 channels?

In the 80s, Doctor Who was on once a week. Sundays at noon.

Yep. And there was no DVR, or VCR, or whatever, so he'd make Gramma rush home from church to watch it...

I doubt that pleased your Mamah!

Ouch!

It didn't! Lots of fights about it! He usually missed the first fifteen minutes, too. And it would be year before he could see each story again.

That was the pay-off?

But the pay-off was pledge drive day! They'd run Doctor Who from noon to midnight, interrupted by suits begging for money... for 20 minutes straight!

Fair enough!

But imagine having to wait until the new series was finished...

Sure! Twelve hours of Doctor Who, and the entire family still got a bathroom break & time to throw in a pizza!

So those were the good old days?

Avoiding every spoiler for months, and then shotgunning the entire series in one day!

Nah. He said the 80s had its moments, but he'd rather have DVD's and streaming vids.

And what does he think of the new series?

He just sighs and watches "The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot" over & over again!

What? | Guess what my dad told me?Image source(s)coffee2.png / 193Q Coffee mug
Back when there were, like, 12 channels? | In the 80s, Doctor Who was on once a week. Sundays at noon.Image source(s)coffee2.png / 193Q Coffee mug
Yep. And there was no  DVR, or VCR, or whatever, so he'd make Gramma rush home from church to watch it...Image source(s)coffee2.png / 193Q Coffee mug
I doubt that pleased your Mamah!Image source(s)coffee2.png / 193Q Coffee mug
Ouch! | It didn't! Lots of fights about it! He usually missed the first fifteen minutes, too. And it would be year before he could see each story again.Image source(s)coffee2.png / 193Q Coffee mug
That was the pay-off? | But the pay-off was pledge drive day! They'd run Doctor Who from noon to midnight, interrupted by suits begging for money... for 20 minutes straight!Image source(s)coffee2.png / 193Q Coffee mug
Fair enough! | But imagine having to wait until the new series was finished... | Sure! Twelve hours of Doctor Who, and the entire family still got a bathroom break & time to throw in a pizza!Image source(s)coffee2.png / 193Q Coffee mug
So those were the good old days? | Avoiding every spoiler for months, and then shotgunning the entire series in one day! | Nah. He said the 80s had its moments, but he'd rather have DVD's and streaming vids.Image source(s)coffee2.png / 193Q Coffee mug
And what does he think of the new series? | He just sighs and watches "The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot" over & over again!Image source(s)coffee2.png / 193Q Coffee mug
NiereNione

The Highwayman - Stanza 5

by NiereNione

Creative Commons Tuesday August 30, 2016

2

436 views | 8 comments

Filed in Drama & Historical

“One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I’m after a prize to-night,

But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;

Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,

Then look for me by moonlight, Watch for me by moonlight,

I’ll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way.”

“One kiss, my bonny sweetheart,  I’m after a prize to-night, But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light; Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day, Then look for me by moonlight,  Watch for me by moonlight, I’ll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way.”
  • MADE AT PIXTON.COM
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